True Story.

So, a local community church has this amazing indoor play area with a huge climbing structure thing, and a rock climbing wall, and all sorts of other cool stuff. Including a basketball court. So we were there the other day. And it was basically just my girls running around, so I decide to shoot some hoops. Fun.

Well, some staff members start walking through the area and I start feeling really self conscious, because I don't want them to think in just some random grown up who goes and plays around at a children's play area. And I am thinking to myself, how can I show them that I have kids here?

And then I realize. I have a baby. Strapped to my chest. While I play basketball.

It's obvious I have kids.

Whew. I'm officially not creepy.

Guess who grew a tooth!

This guy. We are so proud. What a guy.

I can only see two options.

One: My sister, Laurel, and I are the two funniest people on this planet.

or

Two: We get each other in a way that defies understanding.

I'm hoping for the first.

But the truth is, with everyone else, I am pretty boring.  Why don't I have unbelievably witty things to say when my friends are around?  Why can I not evoke that level of laughter when I need to impress new acquaintances?

I either need to work on my one liners, or start inviting Laurel to all of my social events.  Because I'm guessing that my joke about blood-clotting is just not going to have the same effect on everyone else.

Sad.

Big debut.

In case you were worried, Ella totally nailed her line in the Primary Program on Sunday. Paul wouldn't let me take a video. So you only have my word. And I'm not biased or anything.

We've been practicing her line for weeks. And I'm pretty sure Charlotte (who had no part, because she's too young) had it memorized too.

Meanwhile, our sweet little Max continues to be incredibly good-natured, (unless he's in his carseat) fundamentally chubby, and unbelievably ticklish.

I am very blessed.

Mazel Tov!

We recently attended the wedding of some good friends. (Who are Jewish, if you can't tell.) And had such a nice time that we are considering converting.

Hello!? Why didn't I insist that someone put me on a chair and dance around with me while lifting the chair high in the air at our wedding? It was maybe the coolest tradition. That and breaking the glass. And the big dance around in the circle dance. It's not just in the movies, y'all.

It was awesome.

Plus, Paul looks hot in a Yamaka.

'Cause that's how we roll.

My daughers and I just had the following conversation completely in song.  If you can imagine.

Me:  It smells like poop! Where is the poop!  I can't find any poop!

Ella: Maybe it is in the backyard.  We should go and check.

Me: Or maybe we should go to the Li-bra-ryyyyyy!

Ella: And seeeeeeee if it still smells like poop.

Charlotte: (on a low sustained note) Pooooooop.  Poooooooop.  Pooooooop.

I promise I did not make that up.  Seriously, we should have a tv show.

She's no lightweight, herself.

So, I was surprised to find that Max sort of dwarfs Charlotte when she holds him.  He is one hunk of chunk. And we all love this baby.  Charlotte frequently tells me that, "he wants me," and insists on holding him until he cries and she informs me that, "he wants you."  Today she entertained him with colored pencils and a yogurt container while I was cooking dinner.  Win-win.  Except for the risk of impalement.  Whatever.

Ella is getting proficient enough in baby holding for her to hold him for a minute in public (sitting down) while I do something else.  She sat and held him today while I got Charlotte's shoes on as we were leaving the play place.  This may sound boring to everybody else, but it was this huge revelation to me that I have a child who is old enough to help with another child!  That is a game changer, my friends.

I also discovered that the secret to getting your children to mop the floor is not giving them rags to 'skate' on around the kitchen.  (You would think, right?  I thought it was my best mom-idea ever.)  The magic is all in the spray bottle.  Arm those girls with spray bottles and a rag, and they will work forever.  It works well with bathrooms too.  (I use a vinegar and water solution to clean, for those of you who are worried.)

And so, every day my children become more and more competent minions.  And then I begin to question, how could I not homeschool?  It gives us so much more time for them to do my bidding.  I am looking to phase out my own housework altogether in four years, tops.  Delegate.  Delegate.  Delegate.

Some riveting dialogue

Charlotte: Mom! The spoon is talking to me!

Me: What's it saying?

Charlotte: It's saying, "I'm not a spoon!"

Me: Oh!

Charlotte (to the spoon): No, you are a spoon!

Charlotte (as the spoon): No, I'm not a spoon!

Charlotte: (to the spoon): No, you are a spoon!

Rocks

My kids love them. Both on a small scale and a large scale.

They also love magnifying glasses. Ella takes hers all over the place and examines everything. It makes our neighborhood walks take for-ev-er.

But I want to encourage that behavior.

I also want to encourage manual labor. Because its good for kids to do your dirty work.

Although this particular dirty work was not helpful. Ella was "building a house for the ants." So considerate.

Chubby.

That's how we make our babies.

I had a friend ask me what was new yesterday. (We haven't seen each other in a month.) I spent at least ten seconds trying to think of something.

Nothing.

We are blissfully constant right now.

So here's to a quiet life and a fat baby.