I'm just going to send that out into the universe, because I have heard from far too many cashiers, salespeople, and random strangers on the street that it must be a relief that we finally got a boy. "I bet you're glad, huh?!" They say to me, every time I take my children and my large belly out in public.
It drives me crazy.
Because I have yet to find a nice way to say, "Not really. We're just glad it's a baby."
Don't get me wrong, we weren't trying for a girl either. But we were trying for a baby, and so all our dreams have come true. Because ultrasounds have definitively confirmed that it's not a puppy.
We went into the ultrasound pretty sure it would be a boy, because this pregnancy was so different from the girls. Neither one of us really thought that we cared one way or the other. And the funny thing is, Paul was really excited it was a boy. And I was kind of disappointed it wasn't a girl.
It has taken me a while to get used to the idea of a boy running around. Which is also kind of funny, because I really don't believe in that whole "Boys are just different from girls" line. I get that a lot too. Mostly from people I know. "You'll see," they say again and again. And that's fine I guess. I'm sure Max will be different from Ella and Charlotte. But as it turns out, Ella and Charlotte are pretty different from each other, too. And, another interesting fact is, just because a child is a certain gender does not guarantee that they will act in accordance with the stereotype for that gender. Even if there is some evidence that the stereotype is a somewhat accurate representation of said gender.
So stop labeling my child. He is still unborn.
I think that I must, somewhere in my subconscious, believe that the relationship between a mother and daughter is different from mother and son. When we first found out Max was a boy, I had four or five dreams that I was getting married to a variety of men from my past. I didn't tell Paul about the first couple of dreams, because, well, that's weird. Why am I dreaming about marrying someone else? And then I started seeing patterns. All of these guys are people I knew relatively well, but never dated or had any romantic feelings for. They were people I respected and admired. And every single wedding was not a wedding of love, but of duty. Often the proposal would go like this, "Well, I guess we should get married, it seems like the right thing to do." Finally, I realized that this must be symbolic of me committing to another man(child). I just wasn't all the way on board with having another man in my life. When I worked that out, the dreams stopped. Weird, huh?
We are thrilled about this baby boy coming to our house. And the closer it gets, the more exciting it is. I'll be thirty-five weeks on Wednesday. I had an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, and he is measuring average in every way, which is wonderful. Because with Ella's birth weight at 8 lb. 12 oz, and Charlotte's at 9 lb. 3 oz., let's just say that we don't worry about my babies being big enough at term. (They also measured average at all their ultrasounds.)
But since I don't get sassy with strangers, I just wanted to lay it all out here.