We had the missionaries over for dinner the other night. It was Paul who really summed up the evening: "Well. That was not our finest moment."
It all began with homemade pizza. Naturally when they arrived we had not yet put it in the oven. "Don't worry, Elders, we'll get you out on time!" Well, I used a new dough recipe that was just not holding together very well. So it took a while to get the first pizza in the oven, but finally we did and then we all sat down to start on the salad. "Elders, this lettuce was grown just a couple of miles out of town." I love buying local foods, and I am just so proud to buy local, so I was bragging for quite a while about the salad, and the Co-op, and the Farmer's Market. Well, I'm starting to feel pretty good about myself. I served up a great salad, the pizza should be done any minute now, and I'm calming down from the "pre-dinner panic". (Does anyone else get that feeling when they have guests?)
All of a sudden, Paul shows me his plate. I'm staring at his half eaten salad, wondering what I am supposed to be looking at. It takes about seven seconds for me to see it. A slug. Slugging across the dinner plate. Clearly glad to be free of our locally grown lettuce. And that's when I started screaming like a small child. I do not usually freak out. I'm okay with bugs of many varieties. But it's because I expect them to crawl into my house when it's cold, or fly in when it's dark, or whatever. But who expects a slug to crawl out of your salad?! Not me. So I flipped.
Well, the Elders were amazingly relaxed about the whole slug experience. After I had calmed down, one even said, "You know, it's pretty funny when you think about it." I wasn't in that place quite yet. I'm getting closer.
Well, we were done with our salads. (Obviously.) The pizza should have been done several minutes ago, but it was just taking forever! We wait and wait and wait, until Paul realizes that we turned the oven off after heating the pizza stone. Oh. That would be why it's taking twice as long as usual. Luckily, the rest of the evening goes pretty smoothly.
Paul assures the Elders that all pizza toppings (tomatoes, peppers, olives, onions, etc.) were grown at corporately owned farms, and are therefore slug-free. Thanks, Paul.
Finally, at about ten after the hour (we didn't get the Elders out on time) we sit down for the spiritual message. It was very nice. Until they asked for a ride to their next appointment because they are already fifteen minutes late! AH! Sorry, Elders! We rush them out the door into our car, which is littered with toys and books and purses and blankets from the last road trip. Ah well. Chalk another one up for experience.